Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
