ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't deserve a penis
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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