drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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