I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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