Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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