just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
