Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
