my vag is so smooth its legendary
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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