Cold hands, warm shart.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize