Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I could fuck to npr.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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