Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Soap is not a condiment
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am midnight drunk by noon
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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