So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
