if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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