return my video game
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
