Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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