I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
