thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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