Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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