I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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