the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
