Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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