if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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