He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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