i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
