i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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