Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize