hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
