Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
