Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
