I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
