You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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