If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
