i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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