life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
