I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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