This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
