dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
