Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
