I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
