I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
