this beer tastes like vomit already
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
