OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
