How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The air was thick with penises
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
jump out the window naked night went bad
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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