yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
