Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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