i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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