well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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