I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize