3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
