I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
