She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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