Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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