Whod you bang
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
