At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize