I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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