You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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