My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
