Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
